Housetrapped (Choose Your Own Adventure!)

Time for Detective Cheap Slut to get a move on! You quickly make your way to the most popular cake store in Paris to search for Karina. You take a moment to look at the beauty that surrounds you. Cream. Strawberries. Icing. Chocolate. Powdered sugar. It's all so sweet... you just know if she's anywhere in Paris, it's somewhere in this shop!

Wrong.She WAS here already.

Waaaaaaah she isn't here. Oh quit crying, your makeup is starting to run.

What else does she like :L

You use your rad detective skills to check out another store she might like, the Lolita fashion store...

Close.

You start searching the aisles of beautiful and intricate Lolita fashion for Karina. You're pretty nervous. What if she hasn't forgiven you over the whole butt thing? What if she doesn't like your outfit? What if she suddenly remembered how totally uncool you are? You better get yourself together soon, she could be right around the next corner for all you know.

She is :3

There she is. Though she's aged ten years she's still a beautiful as the moment you first laid eyes upon her. Those dazzling green eyes meet your own and suddenly the whole world seems to fade away around you. Now's your chance slick, woo her with your charisma and charm.

...


JUMPHUG!

That looked like a rapist a french one so high heel kick in the balls.

As she sees you jump she lashes out with lightning reflexes, driving a heel right into your balls. The pink g-string provides minimal protection. You slam down onto the floor in writhing burning pain. She got you gooood.

Rapist these days I tell you.Walk away future me just walk away.

And there she goes... walking right back out for your life as fast as she walked in... your baby maker hurts. Serves you right for being such a colossal asshole.

There maybe still a chance time machine go back ten years before that.

This isn't over. Maybe if you can't get future Karina and her kinds sexy karate moves to love you, you can go back and make things right between you and her ten years ago. I mean it's not like you haven't had plenty of resets already so you should be fine fucking up time once more right? You sneak into the French University of Crazy Kijiggers and find what you're looking for, a prototype time machine! Luckily everyones too busy drinking wine and getting laid to notice you breaking inside.

Unfortunately much like in the movie Terminator travelling through time requires you to be naked so you can't bring back any of your cool swag. Also it suddenly occurs to you that you've seen that film a lot, which means you've also seen Arnold Schwarzenegger's butt a lot. Creepy.

TIME TRAVEL AWAAAAAAAY

heheheee

anyway free writing

Ah nothing like being back naked in your own bedroom. You wish you could have brought some of that stuff back with you though. Too bad, you're stuck with the technologically impaired land of 2012. No equipment slots for you, gotta wear your clothes on your body like all the other average Joes.

First things first, you go take a shower. Lucky for you you manage to catch it before the water supply gets turned off, great. Next you wash out the taste of that gooey salty stuff you had to suck out of that tube in that back alley with a good glass of milk. Then you cover up the smell with some nice refreshing orange and lime tic tacs. You wanna make your next impression on Karina a bit better than the last... or future... time travel is confusing...

It is :L
Keep writting.

You get ready to go and woo Karina when you realize it's actually 4.00am and she's probably in bed dreaming sweet dreams of vampires and tentacles. You wouldn't wanna wake her up. Also she might think you were a rapist and kick you in the balls again. Instead you throw an impromptu tea party! The teddies are a little ruffled at this sudden event but they all politely show up to suckle upon the sweet nectar of your imaginary tea. Ah. After all these shenanigans through time and space sometimes it feels good just to sit back and enjoy the simple things in life.

You have a need to kiss your brother.And than realise what you did.

You suddenly feel like kissing your brother... wait wasn't that what you did last time and got disgraced and had to live under Karinas bed for ten years surviving by eating drinking stuff that came from your own body? Somehow you feel that you should learn from your past mistakes and not repeat them thus bringing out a more favorable future. Besides he's not here. You seem to have traveled back to some point after your family suddenly ran away from you in the middle of the night.

HA LOSER

It suddenly occurs to you that you are a colossal loser. No wonder Karina doesn't like you.

Actually she does ._.

And yet, deep inside you suddenly realize that even though she made you stay under the bed for ten years, moved without telling you and then kicked you in the balls, she really does love you.